I’m almost in tears as I read this! What a very timely email. Thank you so much for sharing. Both my daughters have experienced this to varying degrees and my youngest daughter who is late diagnosed autistic recently quit a job that was honestly almost perfect for her aside from the toxic boss. I have been so angry this past week over it all and your words are a balm for my soul! I can’t wait to share this with her. xo
Charlie, thanks to you providing a mirror to me, I realized my struggles, both personally and professionally, are likely due to ADD and autism. After hearing your story on YouTube I sought out professional help and I am now waiting for a diagnosis and treatment. The toxic work environment you talk abort is prevalent, even in a so-called welfare society as Denmark, where i live. Sure, we don't have 16 hour work days, but even so, the professional and social expectations and way too high - I'd say for most people, but especially for neurodivergent people. I do notice that the younger generations on the workforce are more aware, and I do think that toxic workplaces will be forced to change.
Thank you for sharing your journey - it has made all the difference to me!
I also have a history of gruelling, traumatising jobs because of undiagnosed AuDHD, so a lot of what you're saying rings true for me too. I'm lucky now that I have a job that works much better for me, and I'm really glad you're hearing of workplaces that are taking these things more seriously 👏
Charlie I have come back to this post every day since you sent it out and just wanted to thank you again! Partially because of this I decided to take a stand and write a letter to the board where our daughter was employed {a public library} to make them aware of issues. It may not make a difference but we have to at least try right?
Funny, I talked about this in my podcast this week and have been thinking about it a lot. I chose nursing and did a similar thing—just kept pushing and pushing until something broke. There is no getting the time back, obviously, but I'm glad to be where I am now. I'm glad you are too :)
"Being switched ‘on’, constantly on high-alert, was managed by my faith that, if I noticed, understood, pre-empted, and dealt with everything in my surroundings, pushing through would equate to success."
I was so sure I would get there if I just tried hard enough. Instead I ended up in anxiety so chronic that I no longer knew what it felt like to be reassured, safe, or valued. And I was only working part time. Those of you who dealt (deal) with this on a full-time or more basis have my awe and respect. And my regret and anger that you ever had to deal with it at all.
"couldn’t I have chosen something slightly less taxing?" - an almost daily thought about all of my previous choices that led to burnout, and sometimes the choices I still make now from not reconciling that I can't go back to 'before' - before burnout, before diagnosis, etc - as I now try live a low-demand life. Thank you for this 🤗
Super bright audhd kids are funnelled down the route of highly stressful career choices to supposedly make the most of their abilities. This so often leads to mental health problems due to anxiety and overwhelm.
Early diagnosis is key.
So is allowing kids to follow their passions, take their time and set boundaries with confidence.
I’m almost in tears as I read this! What a very timely email. Thank you so much for sharing. Both my daughters have experienced this to varying degrees and my youngest daughter who is late diagnosed autistic recently quit a job that was honestly almost perfect for her aside from the toxic boss. I have been so angry this past week over it all and your words are a balm for my soul! I can’t wait to share this with her. xo
Charlie, thanks to you providing a mirror to me, I realized my struggles, both personally and professionally, are likely due to ADD and autism. After hearing your story on YouTube I sought out professional help and I am now waiting for a diagnosis and treatment. The toxic work environment you talk abort is prevalent, even in a so-called welfare society as Denmark, where i live. Sure, we don't have 16 hour work days, but even so, the professional and social expectations and way too high - I'd say for most people, but especially for neurodivergent people. I do notice that the younger generations on the workforce are more aware, and I do think that toxic workplaces will be forced to change.
Thank you for sharing your journey - it has made all the difference to me!
I also have a history of gruelling, traumatising jobs because of undiagnosed AuDHD, so a lot of what you're saying rings true for me too. I'm lucky now that I have a job that works much better for me, and I'm really glad you're hearing of workplaces that are taking these things more seriously 👏
Charlie I have come back to this post every day since you sent it out and just wanted to thank you again! Partially because of this I decided to take a stand and write a letter to the board where our daughter was employed {a public library} to make them aware of issues. It may not make a difference but we have to at least try right?
Funny, I talked about this in my podcast this week and have been thinking about it a lot. I chose nursing and did a similar thing—just kept pushing and pushing until something broke. There is no getting the time back, obviously, but I'm glad to be where I am now. I'm glad you are too :)
"Being switched ‘on’, constantly on high-alert, was managed by my faith that, if I noticed, understood, pre-empted, and dealt with everything in my surroundings, pushing through would equate to success."
I was so sure I would get there if I just tried hard enough. Instead I ended up in anxiety so chronic that I no longer knew what it felt like to be reassured, safe, or valued. And I was only working part time. Those of you who dealt (deal) with this on a full-time or more basis have my awe and respect. And my regret and anger that you ever had to deal with it at all.
"couldn’t I have chosen something slightly less taxing?" - an almost daily thought about all of my previous choices that led to burnout, and sometimes the choices I still make now from not reconciling that I can't go back to 'before' - before burnout, before diagnosis, etc - as I now try live a low-demand life. Thank you for this 🤗
I was a legal secretary/computer administrator rather than an attorney, otherwise this is me. I will never totally recover.
I feel so validated by what you have shared Charlie. I'm struggling with CPTSD from work and mostly just avoid it and then get mad at myself!
Super bright audhd kids are funnelled down the route of highly stressful career choices to supposedly make the most of their abilities. This so often leads to mental health problems due to anxiety and overwhelm.
Early diagnosis is key.
So is allowing kids to follow their passions, take their time and set boundaries with confidence.