This is so true. It’s so easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of checking apps. I’ve seen my phone use skyrocket since I started actively job hunting and I’m taking conscious steps to reduce it. Have you read How To Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price? I found it really helpful previously - might have to read it again once I’ve landed a new role…
I am so over my current relationship with my phone. You know it’s bad when you run out of social media posts and turn to refreshing your work email inbox!
I think I’m genuinely worried about how it’s going to feel if I do detox… but knowing finite time is being sucked away every single day should be scarier. Going to try the dumb phone approach!!!
Ooooff yes, been there! I hope it works out for you - no. 1 learning from my experience is planning other activities to fill the time you would otherwise be on social media!
Quick note that Johann Hari has form for misrepresentation of facts and sources and for outright lying - so take anything in the book with a gigantic grain of salt!
Oh! I didn't know this either - when I initially googled the book there were lots of reviews saying 'thoroughly researched' book, but now I've dug deeper I see there have been some Twitter wars about him! I noticed his amendments on his website as Jess mentions but will need to look a little closer... hmm
From my understanding the criticisms of him were from years ago. I think he has learnt a lot from his mistakes and now errs on the side of caution with his writing. He encourages people to contact him with any concerns and openly puts up corrections - something not every author does.
Thank you for this and all the tips to decrease screen time! I've found somatic awareness techniques to be so beneficial for this when I want to be less of a lit up red head and more of a fully alive human, from head to toe. Also that video 😭 feels so nostalgic. I was in highschool when we all were getting iphones. ugh I miss a time before that so much. Perhaps we start a revolution to go back to flip phones?? 😂
I resonate with this so much. On Sunday night I had this random thought, 'What if I live my whole life never having learned to paint?' the thought sent me spiralling and the next day I decided I needed a digital detox 👀. I cut out most socials, youtube and Netflix (the places I spent the most time)...only to realise I was still spending the same amount of time on screens 😭 I'd just traded those things for others...
I'm reading more, but all the books are digital lol, and I've been spending copious amounts of time on Substack and LinkedIn. I'm definitely gonna have to fully disconnect for this all to make sense...when I tried a detox before, a few months ago, I'd turn my wi-fi off at night, because my first instinct when I wake up is always to grab my phone and check socials. I appreciate your tips for making the smart phone less appealing, perhaps I'll try those. I'll definitely be following your journey though, maybe it will inspire me to hold myself accountable.
This was a delight! Thank you. I stumbled across it by chance in a week where I have come off Instagram. I found myself wondering who I will share photos of my coffee to … no one, that’s okay!
I’ll still use instagram, it’s helpful for my professional profile, but less time is key. Thanks for writing this.
I heard someone this week say “I want to connect to being human again” … and I’m pretty sure that will require less screen time.
Thank you for this thoughtful and vulnerable essay. You're totally right about the one-dimensional reality our phones can create, while at the same time being useful in many ways. That's why one of the first things I teach in my free email course is how to separate the Supportive Tech -- the apps that help with daily life -- from the Addictive Tech, using the tips you mentioned. (Interesting you've found two phones helpful!)
Besides the activities you've mentioned, I would invite you to consider stepping into the larger living reality we all share - Nature. I've found that grounding into Nature first changes the entire dynamic and makes everything easier.
If you don't mind me sharing: Phone-Jacked: 7 Days to Take Control of Your Phone. https://go.phone-jacked.com/ I've written a lot about these topics on my Substack under the newsletter The Unplugged Club.
Stay the course, Charlie. You're helping a lot of people.
Thank you for writing this, Charlie. I am trying to be a lot better with my phone and I have gone about it in a very similar way to you - deleting social media, only using Substack on my desktop, having a widget for screen time on my phone home screen. Seeing the time you while away on your phone definitely helps.
And I really loved that Youtube video of the last day of school from 1999. I finished school in 2006 and it wasn't all that different, although I was in the UK and it was disposable film cameras capturing the moments, not a video camera. You never quite realise what you've got until it's gone. I hope to bring back some of those lost moments again.
And I am really inspired by your seven days of creating. Thank you for sharing those with us. 🖤
Love this article Charlie. I have a complicated relationship with my phone 🤣. Really don’t like its hold over me! Wish I could just get rid of the smart phone and revert to an old style mobile phone. But I do benefit from library audiobooks and podcasts and music…
It feels like ‘good’ stuff but then again the phone doesn’t. Thanks for sharing your experiences and giving me inspiration to investigate other options.
I totally agree with this post, thank you so much for sharing it Charlie. The thing I find it most difficult is that most of my friends do not live close and social media is a way to keep in contact (I moved several times before this last burnout, so they are pretty scattered around!). This doesn't mean I do not think I should disconnect (especially at night, where I can feel I need it the most), but I find it really hard. Anyone else like me?
Can you have friendship FOMO? I think that this could be the start for a reflection around what habits are good for my/our mental health, and how to modify them and still connecting with the people I care for.
I definitely believe one can have friendship FOMO (i do!)! Most of my close friends don't use social media so I can't claim to know what that feels like for you, but I did have a lot of acquaintances by the time I quit and although many of them I now don't have contact with there are three people who I stayed in touch with and now are my good friends - we Whatsapp or Facetime or write letters and I actually feel I am closer to them now precisely because I don't rely upon social media to see what they're up to. It's a very personal decisions as to whether to go cold turkey on social media or not, but reflecting on how you can modify your usage to optimise connection with loved ones sounds like a great idea!
This is so true. It’s so easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of checking apps. I’ve seen my phone use skyrocket since I started actively job hunting and I’m taking conscious steps to reduce it. Have you read How To Break Up With Your Phone by Catherine Price? I found it really helpful previously - might have to read it again once I’ve landed a new role…
oooo no I haven't, I'll check it out! (btw good luck with the job hunting)
Thanks so much!
I really love this. The more people who share a more offline way of being, the more courage it gives to the rest of us ❤️
Thank you for reading, Josie - I appreciate this ❤️
I am so over my current relationship with my phone. You know it’s bad when you run out of social media posts and turn to refreshing your work email inbox!
I think I’m genuinely worried about how it’s going to feel if I do detox… but knowing finite time is being sucked away every single day should be scarier. Going to try the dumb phone approach!!!
Ooooff yes, been there! I hope it works out for you - no. 1 learning from my experience is planning other activities to fill the time you would otherwise be on social media!
Quick note that Johann Hari has form for misrepresentation of facts and sources and for outright lying - so take anything in the book with a gigantic grain of salt!
I didn't know this, but there is a 'corrections' page on the book's website where he has made amendments.
Oh! I didn't know this either - when I initially googled the book there were lots of reviews saying 'thoroughly researched' book, but now I've dug deeper I see there have been some Twitter wars about him! I noticed his amendments on his website as Jess mentions but will need to look a little closer... hmm
From my understanding the criticisms of him were from years ago. I think he has learnt a lot from his mistakes and now errs on the side of caution with his writing. He encourages people to contact him with any concerns and openly puts up corrections - something not every author does.
Thank you for this and all the tips to decrease screen time! I've found somatic awareness techniques to be so beneficial for this when I want to be less of a lit up red head and more of a fully alive human, from head to toe. Also that video 😭 feels so nostalgic. I was in highschool when we all were getting iphones. ugh I miss a time before that so much. Perhaps we start a revolution to go back to flip phones?? 😂
I resonate with this so much. On Sunday night I had this random thought, 'What if I live my whole life never having learned to paint?' the thought sent me spiralling and the next day I decided I needed a digital detox 👀. I cut out most socials, youtube and Netflix (the places I spent the most time)...only to realise I was still spending the same amount of time on screens 😭 I'd just traded those things for others...
I'm reading more, but all the books are digital lol, and I've been spending copious amounts of time on Substack and LinkedIn. I'm definitely gonna have to fully disconnect for this all to make sense...when I tried a detox before, a few months ago, I'd turn my wi-fi off at night, because my first instinct when I wake up is always to grab my phone and check socials. I appreciate your tips for making the smart phone less appealing, perhaps I'll try those. I'll definitely be following your journey though, maybe it will inspire me to hold myself accountable.
This was a delight! Thank you. I stumbled across it by chance in a week where I have come off Instagram. I found myself wondering who I will share photos of my coffee to … no one, that’s okay!
I’ll still use instagram, it’s helpful for my professional profile, but less time is key. Thanks for writing this.
I heard someone this week say “I want to connect to being human again” … and I’m pretty sure that will require less screen time.
What an honour to see you mentioned AND read my newsletter! Thank you, Charlie!!! Sending hugs! ❤️
Thank you for this thoughtful and vulnerable essay. You're totally right about the one-dimensional reality our phones can create, while at the same time being useful in many ways. That's why one of the first things I teach in my free email course is how to separate the Supportive Tech -- the apps that help with daily life -- from the Addictive Tech, using the tips you mentioned. (Interesting you've found two phones helpful!)
Besides the activities you've mentioned, I would invite you to consider stepping into the larger living reality we all share - Nature. I've found that grounding into Nature first changes the entire dynamic and makes everything easier.
If you don't mind me sharing: Phone-Jacked: 7 Days to Take Control of Your Phone. https://go.phone-jacked.com/ I've written a lot about these topics on my Substack under the newsletter The Unplugged Club.
Stay the course, Charlie. You're helping a lot of people.
Thank you for writing this, Charlie. I am trying to be a lot better with my phone and I have gone about it in a very similar way to you - deleting social media, only using Substack on my desktop, having a widget for screen time on my phone home screen. Seeing the time you while away on your phone definitely helps.
And I really loved that Youtube video of the last day of school from 1999. I finished school in 2006 and it wasn't all that different, although I was in the UK and it was disposable film cameras capturing the moments, not a video camera. You never quite realise what you've got until it's gone. I hope to bring back some of those lost moments again.
And I am really inspired by your seven days of creating. Thank you for sharing those with us. 🖤
Love this article Charlie. I have a complicated relationship with my phone 🤣. Really don’t like its hold over me! Wish I could just get rid of the smart phone and revert to an old style mobile phone. But I do benefit from library audiobooks and podcasts and music…
It feels like ‘good’ stuff but then again the phone doesn’t. Thanks for sharing your experiences and giving me inspiration to investigate other options.
I started Stolen Focus this week thanks to your recommendation. Really enjoying it so far!
I loved seeing your collages! It reminded me that I used to do this so much. Where did/ do you get your materials from??
Oh I'm glad! So far I've used National Geographic magazines (many I've collected for years and some I bought on ebay recently) and hand-painted paper.
This is such a good idea. I'm going to subscribe to this and do the same. Thank you for the creative inspiration!
You're so welcome! Enjoy!
I totally agree with this post, thank you so much for sharing it Charlie. The thing I find it most difficult is that most of my friends do not live close and social media is a way to keep in contact (I moved several times before this last burnout, so they are pretty scattered around!). This doesn't mean I do not think I should disconnect (especially at night, where I can feel I need it the most), but I find it really hard. Anyone else like me?
Can you have friendship FOMO? I think that this could be the start for a reflection around what habits are good for my/our mental health, and how to modify them and still connecting with the people I care for.
I definitely believe one can have friendship FOMO (i do!)! Most of my close friends don't use social media so I can't claim to know what that feels like for you, but I did have a lot of acquaintances by the time I quit and although many of them I now don't have contact with there are three people who I stayed in touch with and now are my good friends - we Whatsapp or Facetime or write letters and I actually feel I am closer to them now precisely because I don't rely upon social media to see what they're up to. It's a very personal decisions as to whether to go cold turkey on social media or not, but reflecting on how you can modify your usage to optimise connection with loved ones sounds like a great idea!
i looooove this! thank you so so much!!
thank you Ayanda, for your kind words and for reading mine!!