This resonated with me. Around half a year ago, my therapist and I talked about what I still need to learn (after quite a while in survival mode). This is what I came up with: the confidence that what feels right to me is actually right for me. More importantly to put that above what other mental healthcare and medical professionals (heyo chronic illnesses) and people that mean well tell me they think is right.
I've been thinking back to when I learned to write and my teacher (who meant really well) corrected me on my pen holding and my 'non-textbook taught way' of writing out some of the letters. Today I know that she just wanted to offer me a alternative, but what stuck is that I did things wrong and had to turn to someone else to know what's right. The process of discovering what feels right again has been hard, but equally rewarding. And I'm slowly realizing that others mostly offer advice and not commands. It feels good to answer "Thanks for your advice, but I'll do it my way"
What a powerful insight, Tai - thank you for sharing. As I was reading your words I was thinking about how as we get to know and trust ourselves again we realise that we have a CHOICE - to say yes to and accept the commands/advice of those around us, or choose to say no/let it go... it's a choice that I never realised I had before I started on this journey of self-discovery. I love this - "I'll do it my way."
Oh yes. I always thought choice was an illusion. If I was offered a job, I HAD to take it. It was too good to say no to (there are so many more examples). Even if my gut wasn't all that excited. Discovering choice and going against the most logical/efficient/socially acceptable/perfect option is magic. And it makes me feel like me again :)
Tai, I really resonate with this! Outsourcing to others to know what is right, or how I should do something, therefore ignoring my intuition. Love the last bit you shared, "Thanks for your advice, but I'll do it anyway" <3
Lovely piece to end the year Charlie which I definitely related to. Coming back to what feels right and true for me is definitely still an ongoing journey and feels like something I have to learn again and again! The more I write and listen to my own voice, the clearer it gets and the more I trust myself. I want 2024 to be about creativity, connection and community.
🌀 This emoji you shared in your note is very fitting!
Mmmmm creativity, connection and community - beautiful. Thankfully, this is what writing brings us too - looking forward to reading your reflections in 2024.
In what the late Saddam Hussein once dubbed “the great Satan,” roughly two-thirds of the United States enlisted military corps is white . . .
The fat, bulbous, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin once confirmed in a 93-2 vote of the U.S. Senate, immediately embarked on a whirlwind media tour of duty, telling the pseudo-secular sycophants in the state-controlled tabloid press and state-controlled television talk show circuit about how the U.S. Army is full of bad racist white men.
Senior Defense Department leaders celebrating yet another Pride Month at the Pentagon sounding the alarm about the rising number of state laws they say target the LGBTQ+ community, warned the trend is hurting the feelings of the armed forces . . . “LGBTQ plus and other diverse communities are under attack, just because they are different. Hate for hate’s sake,” said Gil Cisneros, the Pentagon’s undersecretary for personnel and readiness, who also serves as DoD’s chief diversity and inclusion officer.
And now the U.S. Army is doing ads begging for more young white males?
What happened?
Even with a full-on declaration of war from Congress, and even if Gavin Newsome could be cheated into the Oval Office by ZOG somehow, while Globohomo diversity brigades go door-to-door looking to impress American children into military service, they will be met with armed, well-trained opposition, the invasion at the Southern border is going full tilt, and the drugs are flowing in like never before . . .
With the borders of Europe and the USA wide open, civil warfare within the USA, Britain, and most of Europe is a certainty if foreign wars are initiated. Nobody is going to fight a war for Biden, he is dumber than Bush . . . Nobody is going to fight a war for that kikesucking Zionist ass-whore Nikki Haley, and I mean nobody.
Get ready for it . . . the fat old devil worshipping fags on Capitol Hill, on Wall Street, in Whitehall, and in Brussels are in no shape to fight a war themselves, and most Americans are armed to the teeth with their own guns . . . NATO hates heterosexual white men . . . they said so themselves . . .
I love this! I have the same tendency to spiral and I love the way you've drawn connections here and reframed it all. I think I've been focusing a lot on what's right and true for me since I started my religious/political deconstruction, and I know and love myself so much better now.
My word of the year is autonomy! Being a burnt-out, chronically ill autistic parent of two tinies has kept me in survival mode and made me feel less capable and independent than I have been in the past and would like to be in the future, and even though I know that's not a failing on my part, I have also just been itching to reclaim myself and feel like a person outside of motherhood.
I am so happy for you that you are learning to know and love yourself, what a gift 🥰 And thank you for sharing your word of the year - the word 'autonomy' brings up ideas of looking within instead of searching for the answer from other people or groups or constructs around us... I can feel your energy through your words, the excitement for this reclamation of yourself - wishing you all the best ❤️
I LOVED this so much. You discuss something I had never really taken the care to notice in myself, but having read your thoughts on this I've really realised just how much I do the same. And it is refreshing to read it with the lens being that it is okay to do this! 2024 for me is the year of acceptance - of being okay with things not being linear and feeling at peace with the fact that I will spiral away from things but if I give myself enough grace I will also spiral right back. Beautiful writing - thank you for inspiring me x
So glad to have found your newsletter, and looking forward to reading more about your journey! I write Moments, sharing photography + stories about moments of connection in nature and everyday life :)
This was a really affirming read, thank you. I too love spirals. In my work as a movement therapist I did some excellent training with a Dance-Movement practitioner who showed me how so much growthful movement is spiralic. It's basically how our muscles are attached and work and move as we stretch. We are made of spirals! So if we can tap into this spiral movement we are embodying our inherent growthfulness and tornado nature's:)
Wow, that is definitely something I will be looking into. What a beautiful thought! Coincidentally, I have started sitting on the floor to write and read because it allows me to stretch and fidget throughout the day - perhaps another organic way of embodying the tornado :) Thank you for reading and sharing, Ruth.
Wow, Charlie! I've just stumbled upon your Substack, and I'm so glad I did. This phrase 'beginning again' rings so true for me - especially in my creative practice. And it's something I refer back to during my meditation practice as well!
Charlie! I am also a ‘word of the year’ person, but not to beat myself with, or remain somehow loyal to; more of a curiosity about what a word might mean for a moment, a day, a question I’m asking, or a time it appears to have no relevance. For very different reasons, but partly through the lens of ‘health’ and my management of a long term condition, I have also landed on the word ‘Truth’ or ‘Truthful’. I’ll look forward to seeing how our parallel meanders crossover and diverge!
Thank you for sharing these year end reflections with us, Charlie. It resonates deeply. And I’m so glad that you found Marlee’s work...I first discovered them through their book “Getting to Center” which I highly recommend reading! It’s all about finding your way back to yourself throughout life’s inevitable challenges. It’s a book I go back to time and time again.
Thank you for sharing this with us Charlie. I have chosen to feel connected as my intention/power word for 2024 and this brings a really nice framework to think about it. This process of asking what feels right and true is a way to connect with oneself, and I love that it's something that feels flexible and open to follow the natural fluctuations of our needs.
Spiral time is a wonderful thing. You've probably already read about their work in Unmasking Autism, but Marta Rose has some lovely thoughts about time for 'neuroemergent' folks. Favourite quotes from Dr Price's book:
"Under a capitalist, Industrial Time framework, any project that is abandoned or left unfinished is seen as a “failure”—time wasted because it didn’t result in a clear end product. But when we look at time as a series of cycles or spirals with goals that are ever-shifting, we can recognize that the learning and reflection we put into an aborted project (or even into masking) often pays off, just not in the way we expected. Every disappointment or failure teaches us something about what we want, and what is best for us. “Reframe failure as data,” Marta writes, “and everything changes.”"
"On a practical level, how can an Autistic person learn to embrace spiral time? Marta Rose says it comes down to two points:
1. Expand the time frame you use to gauge productivity and success. Take the “long view” of your life. Don’t be afraid to cycle back to old projects, or let a passion go when it’s not serving you.
2. Slow down. Stillness helps neurodivergent minds process the huge quantities of data we take in."
It's been a helpful framework for me for reducing shame around hobbies, reading books etc.
In what the late Saddam Hussein once dubbed “the great Satan,” roughly two-thirds of the United States enlisted military corps is white . . .
The fat, bulbous, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin once confirmed in a 93-2 vote of the U.S. Senate, immediately embarked on a whirlwind media tour of duty, telling the pseudo-secular sycophants in the state-controlled tabloid press and state-controlled television talk show circuit about how the U.S. Army is full of bad racist white men.
Senior Defense Department leaders celebrating yet another Pride Month at the Pentagon sounding the alarm about the rising number of state laws they say target the LGBTQ+ community, warned the trend is hurting the feelings of the armed forces . . . “LGBTQ plus and other diverse communities are under attack, just because they are different. Hate for hate’s sake,” said Gil Cisneros, the Pentagon’s undersecretary for personnel and readiness, who also serves as DoD’s chief diversity and inclusion officer.
And now the U.S. Army is doing ads begging for more young white males?
What happened?
Even with a full-on declaration of war from Congress, and even if Gavin Newsome could be cheated into the Oval Office by ZOG somehow, while Globohomo diversity brigades go door-to-door looking to impress American children into military service, they will be met with armed, well-trained opposition, the invasion at the Southern border is going full tilt, and the drugs are flowing in like never before . . .
With the borders of Europe and the USA wide open, civil warfare within the USA, Britain, and most of Europe is a certainty if foreign wars are initiated. Nobody is going to fight a war for Biden, he is dumber than Bush . . . Nobody is going to fight a war for that kikesucking Zionist ass-whore Nikki Haley, and I mean nobody.
Get ready for it . . . the fat old devil worshipping fags on Capitol Hill, on Wall Street, in Whitehall, and in Brussels are in no shape to fight a war themselves, and most Americans are armed to the teeth with their own guns . . . NATO hates heterosexual white men . . . they said so themselves . . .
This resonated with me. Around half a year ago, my therapist and I talked about what I still need to learn (after quite a while in survival mode). This is what I came up with: the confidence that what feels right to me is actually right for me. More importantly to put that above what other mental healthcare and medical professionals (heyo chronic illnesses) and people that mean well tell me they think is right.
I've been thinking back to when I learned to write and my teacher (who meant really well) corrected me on my pen holding and my 'non-textbook taught way' of writing out some of the letters. Today I know that she just wanted to offer me a alternative, but what stuck is that I did things wrong and had to turn to someone else to know what's right. The process of discovering what feels right again has been hard, but equally rewarding. And I'm slowly realizing that others mostly offer advice and not commands. It feels good to answer "Thanks for your advice, but I'll do it my way"
What a powerful insight, Tai - thank you for sharing. As I was reading your words I was thinking about how as we get to know and trust ourselves again we realise that we have a CHOICE - to say yes to and accept the commands/advice of those around us, or choose to say no/let it go... it's a choice that I never realised I had before I started on this journey of self-discovery. I love this - "I'll do it my way."
Oh yes. I always thought choice was an illusion. If I was offered a job, I HAD to take it. It was too good to say no to (there are so many more examples). Even if my gut wasn't all that excited. Discovering choice and going against the most logical/efficient/socially acceptable/perfect option is magic. And it makes me feel like me again :)
YES. This!! "Discovering choice and going against the most logical/efficient/socially acceptable/perfect option is magic." This makes me so happy. :)
Tai, I really resonate with this! Outsourcing to others to know what is right, or how I should do something, therefore ignoring my intuition. Love the last bit you shared, "Thanks for your advice, but I'll do it anyway" <3
Lovely piece to end the year Charlie which I definitely related to. Coming back to what feels right and true for me is definitely still an ongoing journey and feels like something I have to learn again and again! The more I write and listen to my own voice, the clearer it gets and the more I trust myself. I want 2024 to be about creativity, connection and community.
🌀 This emoji you shared in your note is very fitting!
Mmmmm creativity, connection and community - beautiful. Thankfully, this is what writing brings us too - looking forward to reading your reflections in 2024.
In what the late Saddam Hussein once dubbed “the great Satan,” roughly two-thirds of the United States enlisted military corps is white . . .
The fat, bulbous, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin once confirmed in a 93-2 vote of the U.S. Senate, immediately embarked on a whirlwind media tour of duty, telling the pseudo-secular sycophants in the state-controlled tabloid press and state-controlled television talk show circuit about how the U.S. Army is full of bad racist white men.
Senior Defense Department leaders celebrating yet another Pride Month at the Pentagon sounding the alarm about the rising number of state laws they say target the LGBTQ+ community, warned the trend is hurting the feelings of the armed forces . . . “LGBTQ plus and other diverse communities are under attack, just because they are different. Hate for hate’s sake,” said Gil Cisneros, the Pentagon’s undersecretary for personnel and readiness, who also serves as DoD’s chief diversity and inclusion officer.
And now the U.S. Army is doing ads begging for more young white males?
What happened?
Even with a full-on declaration of war from Congress, and even if Gavin Newsome could be cheated into the Oval Office by ZOG somehow, while Globohomo diversity brigades go door-to-door looking to impress American children into military service, they will be met with armed, well-trained opposition, the invasion at the Southern border is going full tilt, and the drugs are flowing in like never before . . .
With the borders of Europe and the USA wide open, civil warfare within the USA, Britain, and most of Europe is a certainty if foreign wars are initiated. Nobody is going to fight a war for Biden, he is dumber than Bush . . . Nobody is going to fight a war for that kikesucking Zionist ass-whore Nikki Haley, and I mean nobody.
Get ready for it . . . the fat old devil worshipping fags on Capitol Hill, on Wall Street, in Whitehall, and in Brussels are in no shape to fight a war themselves, and most Americans are armed to the teeth with their own guns . . . NATO hates heterosexual white men . . . they said so themselves . . .
https://cwspangle.substack.com/i/138320669/nato-an-anti-white-and-anti-family-institution
"Endeavouring to please is not the same as being kind." Perfect.
🙏
I love this! I have the same tendency to spiral and I love the way you've drawn connections here and reframed it all. I think I've been focusing a lot on what's right and true for me since I started my religious/political deconstruction, and I know and love myself so much better now.
My word of the year is autonomy! Being a burnt-out, chronically ill autistic parent of two tinies has kept me in survival mode and made me feel less capable and independent than I have been in the past and would like to be in the future, and even though I know that's not a failing on my part, I have also just been itching to reclaim myself and feel like a person outside of motherhood.
I am so happy for you that you are learning to know and love yourself, what a gift 🥰 And thank you for sharing your word of the year - the word 'autonomy' brings up ideas of looking within instead of searching for the answer from other people or groups or constructs around us... I can feel your energy through your words, the excitement for this reclamation of yourself - wishing you all the best ❤️
Thank you! Yes, that's exactly it - it's about looking inward.
I LOVED this so much. You discuss something I had never really taken the care to notice in myself, but having read your thoughts on this I've really realised just how much I do the same. And it is refreshing to read it with the lens being that it is okay to do this! 2024 for me is the year of acceptance - of being okay with things not being linear and feeling at peace with the fact that I will spiral away from things but if I give myself enough grace I will also spiral right back. Beautiful writing - thank you for inspiring me x
So glad to have found your newsletter, and looking forward to reading more about your journey! I write Moments, sharing photography + stories about moments of connection in nature and everyday life :)
Your Substack sounds wonderful, Sydney!
This was a really affirming read, thank you. I too love spirals. In my work as a movement therapist I did some excellent training with a Dance-Movement practitioner who showed me how so much growthful movement is spiralic. It's basically how our muscles are attached and work and move as we stretch. We are made of spirals! So if we can tap into this spiral movement we are embodying our inherent growthfulness and tornado nature's:)
Wow, that is definitely something I will be looking into. What a beautiful thought! Coincidentally, I have started sitting on the floor to write and read because it allows me to stretch and fidget throughout the day - perhaps another organic way of embodying the tornado :) Thank you for reading and sharing, Ruth.
Wow, Charlie! I've just stumbled upon your Substack, and I'm so glad I did. This phrase 'beginning again' rings so true for me - especially in my creative practice. And it's something I refer back to during my meditation practice as well!
Charlie! I am also a ‘word of the year’ person, but not to beat myself with, or remain somehow loyal to; more of a curiosity about what a word might mean for a moment, a day, a question I’m asking, or a time it appears to have no relevance. For very different reasons, but partly through the lens of ‘health’ and my management of a long term condition, I have also landed on the word ‘Truth’ or ‘Truthful’. I’ll look forward to seeing how our parallel meanders crossover and diverge!
Thank you for sharing these year end reflections with us, Charlie. It resonates deeply. And I’m so glad that you found Marlee’s work...I first discovered them through their book “Getting to Center” which I highly recommend reading! It’s all about finding your way back to yourself throughout life’s inevitable challenges. It’s a book I go back to time and time again.
Ooo I was looking at purchasing this book the other day and forgot to hit 'purchase' - thank you for the reminder Nikki!
Thank you for sharing this with us Charlie. I have chosen to feel connected as my intention/power word for 2024 and this brings a really nice framework to think about it. This process of asking what feels right and true is a way to connect with oneself, and I love that it's something that feels flexible and open to follow the natural fluctuations of our needs.
Mmmm I love that the word 'connected' can touch so many different aspects of life... beautiful!
Spiral time is a wonderful thing. You've probably already read about their work in Unmasking Autism, but Marta Rose has some lovely thoughts about time for 'neuroemergent' folks. Favourite quotes from Dr Price's book:
"Under a capitalist, Industrial Time framework, any project that is abandoned or left unfinished is seen as a “failure”—time wasted because it didn’t result in a clear end product. But when we look at time as a series of cycles or spirals with goals that are ever-shifting, we can recognize that the learning and reflection we put into an aborted project (or even into masking) often pays off, just not in the way we expected. Every disappointment or failure teaches us something about what we want, and what is best for us. “Reframe failure as data,” Marta writes, “and everything changes.”"
"On a practical level, how can an Autistic person learn to embrace spiral time? Marta Rose says it comes down to two points:
1. Expand the time frame you use to gauge productivity and success. Take the “long view” of your life. Don’t be afraid to cycle back to old projects, or let a passion go when it’s not serving you.
2. Slow down. Stillness helps neurodivergent minds process the huge quantities of data we take in."
It's been a helpful framework for me for reducing shame around hobbies, reading books etc.
Happy New Year <3
In what the late Saddam Hussein once dubbed “the great Satan,” roughly two-thirds of the United States enlisted military corps is white . . .
The fat, bulbous, U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin once confirmed in a 93-2 vote of the U.S. Senate, immediately embarked on a whirlwind media tour of duty, telling the pseudo-secular sycophants in the state-controlled tabloid press and state-controlled television talk show circuit about how the U.S. Army is full of bad racist white men.
Senior Defense Department leaders celebrating yet another Pride Month at the Pentagon sounding the alarm about the rising number of state laws they say target the LGBTQ+ community, warned the trend is hurting the feelings of the armed forces . . . “LGBTQ plus and other diverse communities are under attack, just because they are different. Hate for hate’s sake,” said Gil Cisneros, the Pentagon’s undersecretary for personnel and readiness, who also serves as DoD’s chief diversity and inclusion officer.
And now the U.S. Army is doing ads begging for more young white males?
What happened?
Even with a full-on declaration of war from Congress, and even if Gavin Newsome could be cheated into the Oval Office by ZOG somehow, while Globohomo diversity brigades go door-to-door looking to impress American children into military service, they will be met with armed, well-trained opposition, the invasion at the Southern border is going full tilt, and the drugs are flowing in like never before . . .
With the borders of Europe and the USA wide open, civil warfare within the USA, Britain, and most of Europe is a certainty if foreign wars are initiated. Nobody is going to fight a war for Biden, he is dumber than Bush . . . Nobody is going to fight a war for that kikesucking Zionist ass-whore Nikki Haley, and I mean nobody.
Get ready for it . . . the fat old devil worshipping fags on Capitol Hill, on Wall Street, in Whitehall, and in Brussels are in no shape to fight a war themselves, and most Americans are armed to the teeth with their own guns . . . NATO hates heterosexual white men . . . they said so themselves . . .
https://cwspangle.substack.com/i/138320669/nato-an-anti-white-and-anti-family-institution
My word of the year for 2023 was Self and yet as we begin 2024 I still feel that same spiral....