I relate to this so much Charlie. I also worked so hard to study engineering, worked in consulting and then got burnout and now I want to return to that place because I miss it so much but I’m also just so wary of getting burnt out again. But I have this fire and drive in me that is hidden but ever still present. It’s this inner drive to do more and to be where I once was. But I know if the environment doesn’t suit my needs it would tip me over the edge and so now I’m just trying to be cautious. Experienced massive burnout after discovering my autism and I just don’t want to ever be in that place again. It was scary, but a part of me still craves the fast pace and the critical thinking I was experiencing before at my old job. I already don’t over extend myself after work and keep my life as simple as possible so I kind of want a career that is more stimulating and fulfills me. It’s just so hard to accept that I am indeed debilitated and even though I want it I know I can’t be a top performer no matter how much effort I want to put into it. There are days where I completely forget I’m autistic and then I experience something that surely reminds me yes, I have limits in energy and in forming strong connections with people. So I can say I relate to this so so much. And it’s still a mental battle that I’m trying to accept. To want more for myself but also understand I’m not superwoman like I once thought I was. Like you said, your job is to reign yourself in, and I feel like that what I’ve been trying to do this whole time. Because a part of me still wants to get right back out there. But I can see if it doesn’t come with accommodations or understanding from others than I will inevitably wind up back where I was before, in burnout, in a matter of time. I just want to find the place for me where I am both fulfilled and the environment allows for me to exist there…
Omg it feels so good to be seen with words. It’s so funny because i’m recovering from autistic burnout for 1 year. I’m actually a dog sitter where people leave me their dog at my home. It’s so great and it helps me to stay active, gaining some money and being with dogs. I don’t have to cope with external world, i can just stay at home and go for a walk during the day with them. I also begin an online training to learn animal communication (as a medium). I think it will be a great way to use my intuition and sensibility while working with animals but also humans. I really relate to the grief of « what could have been » it hits me every day but one day i know i’ll look back and be proud of what i’ve create with my own capacity without having all the possibilities open for me 🧡
I'm wondering exactly the same thing, what I can do for work if I choose to return to paid work, as I talk about here: https://neurodivergentnotes.substack.com/p/how-i-knew-i-was-recovering-from. I considered working with dogs for ages as they were a huge special interest for me, but guess what? After the longest time my special interest in them went away, even though I have a dog of my own! Not to mention practical pros & cons becoming more apparent - for example, I clip my own dog and I decided I didn't want to be covered in dog hair as a groomer because I hate the sensory feel of it!
I hope you find what works for you Charlie ✨ I am leaning towards monetizing certain 'hobbies', as you have done with your Substack - put simply, making money from things I would do anyway. I seem to struggle with anything classed as 'proper paid work', even if it's in an area of special interest. This isn't meant to put you off! Only to say that personally I have discovered that trying to make a career out of something is dangerous territory for me, unless I would genuinely be doing it even if I wasn't paid.
Also, the Anti Work Girlboss says "We are worthy of having a job that does not drain us so we are a zombie after work and can’t participate in our life." I wholeheartedly agree!
I'm happy to chat if you are thinking about dog walking! I've been building up my dog walking business for about a year and a half and have recently managed to reach the target I originally set - yay!!
I do get physically very tired, but oh the dogs are so pleased to see me!! It's wonderful 🥰🥰🥰 and I can just chill out in the evenings - which I couldn't do when I was teaching 😁
I feel this! I wasn't a lawyer but an executive assistant to one of the big firms in London- until eventually I realized it made me sick. In a literal sense- I was shutting down and having frequent migraines. I couldn't handle the culture, the commuting, the office environment generally. It wasn't until I began working from home and freelancing that I thrived. But there is a grieving and sometimes frustration over how my autistic limits my life. I hope you find something that fills you with passion and doesn't feel like a concession!
It’s so tough Charlie, I know how hard this is- going through this myself. The choices I have had to make because I’m not able and the ones I will have to make moving forward. It’s so hard to know you can’t just do ‘anything you set your mind to’, or that line we were told as children- you can do anything you want.
Sending love ❤️❤️
PS- I’ve been thinking of you, it’s lovely to see you writing again.
I relate a lot to this, Charlie. I was working in a job after finishing uni and I found it very overwhelming, to a point where I almost had a breakdown. My boss was (is) great and he listened to me and made changes but it meant a drop in hours. This has led to me and my partner living with my Mum for the last three years. My partner isn't happy and I feel guilty all the time.
I look at job sites and it's all 'This is a fast paced environment. You have to be ready to move from one task to another, quickly and effiencently." And I just think "Well, that's me out." Employers idea of flexible is saying you can work 8-5 or 9-6. I just constantly think none of these will work for me and that makes me feel worse. But also, frustrated. Like, where are all the neurodivergent people meant to work?!
I tried starting my own business but it had little success and I often found it very overwhelming.
I am sorry you are feeling this too but I hope something works out for both of us. Take care of yourself, Charlie. 🖤
True, but it makes me feel less lonely to know that (unfortunately) there are some people going through the same things. I hope you will find your place as well 🙏
I feel the same as you. I’m glad I finally have a reason why holding down a job and maintaining my sanity has been so difficult. But now trying to find a corner to thrive in is hard!
Again, I feel.so validated reading your words Charlie. Thank You for sharing. I am so concerned about my 16 year old autistic daughter who wants to be a doctor and doesn't understand why I'm not more supportive x
Thank you. Sadly, I understand, and yes to focusing on what you can do, maybe even one step at a time and allowing it all to unfold....dogs will help...the business...don't worry.....the dogs will help and knowing about them ....
I’m in the process of leaving teaching (for similar reasons as you leaving law). One of my job ideas is dog related too! I love animals, I don’t get burnt out round them and they give me that ‘company’ feeling so I’m never lonely.
One question, which I’m absolutely sure you’ve mulled over but I’m going to ask as a slim chance you’ve not. Could you be a neurodivergent lawyer for people who are neurodivergent? I have a niggling feeling you’d have to jump through neurotypical routes before you could be your own practice.
I consider if I could change my teaching to just nuerospicy people and if it’d help my burn out.
And before I shut up, I want to say I hear your grief 💚 You’ve worked sooooo hard and are limited by things that are out of you control.
I relate to this so much Charlie. I also worked so hard to study engineering, worked in consulting and then got burnout and now I want to return to that place because I miss it so much but I’m also just so wary of getting burnt out again. But I have this fire and drive in me that is hidden but ever still present. It’s this inner drive to do more and to be where I once was. But I know if the environment doesn’t suit my needs it would tip me over the edge and so now I’m just trying to be cautious. Experienced massive burnout after discovering my autism and I just don’t want to ever be in that place again. It was scary, but a part of me still craves the fast pace and the critical thinking I was experiencing before at my old job. I already don’t over extend myself after work and keep my life as simple as possible so I kind of want a career that is more stimulating and fulfills me. It’s just so hard to accept that I am indeed debilitated and even though I want it I know I can’t be a top performer no matter how much effort I want to put into it. There are days where I completely forget I’m autistic and then I experience something that surely reminds me yes, I have limits in energy and in forming strong connections with people. So I can say I relate to this so so much. And it’s still a mental battle that I’m trying to accept. To want more for myself but also understand I’m not superwoman like I once thought I was. Like you said, your job is to reign yourself in, and I feel like that what I’ve been trying to do this whole time. Because a part of me still wants to get right back out there. But I can see if it doesn’t come with accommodations or understanding from others than I will inevitably wind up back where I was before, in burnout, in a matter of time. I just want to find the place for me where I am both fulfilled and the environment allows for me to exist there…
Omg it feels so good to be seen with words. It’s so funny because i’m recovering from autistic burnout for 1 year. I’m actually a dog sitter where people leave me their dog at my home. It’s so great and it helps me to stay active, gaining some money and being with dogs. I don’t have to cope with external world, i can just stay at home and go for a walk during the day with them. I also begin an online training to learn animal communication (as a medium). I think it will be a great way to use my intuition and sensibility while working with animals but also humans. I really relate to the grief of « what could have been » it hits me every day but one day i know i’ll look back and be proud of what i’ve create with my own capacity without having all the possibilities open for me 🧡
I'm wondering exactly the same thing, what I can do for work if I choose to return to paid work, as I talk about here: https://neurodivergentnotes.substack.com/p/how-i-knew-i-was-recovering-from. I considered working with dogs for ages as they were a huge special interest for me, but guess what? After the longest time my special interest in them went away, even though I have a dog of my own! Not to mention practical pros & cons becoming more apparent - for example, I clip my own dog and I decided I didn't want to be covered in dog hair as a groomer because I hate the sensory feel of it!
I hope you find what works for you Charlie ✨ I am leaning towards monetizing certain 'hobbies', as you have done with your Substack - put simply, making money from things I would do anyway. I seem to struggle with anything classed as 'proper paid work', even if it's in an area of special interest. This isn't meant to put you off! Only to say that personally I have discovered that trying to make a career out of something is dangerous territory for me, unless I would genuinely be doing it even if I wasn't paid.
Also, the Anti Work Girlboss says "We are worthy of having a job that does not drain us so we are a zombie after work and can’t participate in our life." I wholeheartedly agree!
I'm happy to chat if you are thinking about dog walking! I've been building up my dog walking business for about a year and a half and have recently managed to reach the target I originally set - yay!!
I do get physically very tired, but oh the dogs are so pleased to see me!! It's wonderful 🥰🥰🥰 and I can just chill out in the evenings - which I couldn't do when I was teaching 😁
I feel this! I wasn't a lawyer but an executive assistant to one of the big firms in London- until eventually I realized it made me sick. In a literal sense- I was shutting down and having frequent migraines. I couldn't handle the culture, the commuting, the office environment generally. It wasn't until I began working from home and freelancing that I thrived. But there is a grieving and sometimes frustration over how my autistic limits my life. I hope you find something that fills you with passion and doesn't feel like a concession!
It’s so tough Charlie, I know how hard this is- going through this myself. The choices I have had to make because I’m not able and the ones I will have to make moving forward. It’s so hard to know you can’t just do ‘anything you set your mind to’, or that line we were told as children- you can do anything you want.
Sending love ❤️❤️
PS- I’ve been thinking of you, it’s lovely to see you writing again.
I relate a lot to this, Charlie. I was working in a job after finishing uni and I found it very overwhelming, to a point where I almost had a breakdown. My boss was (is) great and he listened to me and made changes but it meant a drop in hours. This has led to me and my partner living with my Mum for the last three years. My partner isn't happy and I feel guilty all the time.
I look at job sites and it's all 'This is a fast paced environment. You have to be ready to move from one task to another, quickly and effiencently." And I just think "Well, that's me out." Employers idea of flexible is saying you can work 8-5 or 9-6. I just constantly think none of these will work for me and that makes me feel worse. But also, frustrated. Like, where are all the neurodivergent people meant to work?!
I tried starting my own business but it had little success and I often found it very overwhelming.
I am sorry you are feeling this too but I hope something works out for both of us. Take care of yourself, Charlie. 🖤
You literally described what I am going through at the moment.
I am also frustrated because I really don’t know where am I supposed to work. Why every job needs to be stressful?
I am sorry that you going through this too, Ilaria.
It is extremely frustrating and I, unfortunately, don't have any answers. But I hope we all find something that works for us. Take care. 🖤
True, but it makes me feel less lonely to know that (unfortunately) there are some people going through the same things. I hope you will find your place as well 🙏
I feel the same as you. I’m glad I finally have a reason why holding down a job and maintaining my sanity has been so difficult. But now trying to find a corner to thrive in is hard!
Again, I feel.so validated reading your words Charlie. Thank You for sharing. I am so concerned about my 16 year old autistic daughter who wants to be a doctor and doesn't understand why I'm not more supportive x
Thank you. Sadly, I understand, and yes to focusing on what you can do, maybe even one step at a time and allowing it all to unfold....dogs will help...the business...don't worry.....the dogs will help and knowing about them ....
I’m in the process of leaving teaching (for similar reasons as you leaving law). One of my job ideas is dog related too! I love animals, I don’t get burnt out round them and they give me that ‘company’ feeling so I’m never lonely.
One question, which I’m absolutely sure you’ve mulled over but I’m going to ask as a slim chance you’ve not. Could you be a neurodivergent lawyer for people who are neurodivergent? I have a niggling feeling you’d have to jump through neurotypical routes before you could be your own practice.
I consider if I could change my teaching to just nuerospicy people and if it’d help my burn out.
And before I shut up, I want to say I hear your grief 💚 You’ve worked sooooo hard and are limited by things that are out of you control.