How I manage my energy levels

A list of tools for your toolbox

‘Burnout’, February 2024

Hey fellow human,

I am recovering from burnout, I am autistic, and I have ADHD, all of which means I don’t have very much energy to play with. My nervous system is hyper-sensitive to the world around me, so much of my day-to-day life is spent actively managing my stress and energy levels. My main aim? To try to ensure my parasympathetic nervous system (rest and digest), which preserves energy, as opposed to my sympathetic nervous system (flight, fight, fawn, freeze) is activated as much as possible. In this month’s podcast I answered a question a reader raised about the strategies I use to do this. I will expand here.

Before I get into an extensive list of things that have and have not worked for me - a list that I am continually adding to and adapting - it’s important to make clear that this is not intended to be a ‘how to’ post that can be generally applied to everyone. It is a ‘how to’ post that applies to me. Generalised ‘How to’ posts are how I ended up here, burned to a crisp - they’ve therefore been exiled from my life, and I don’t wish to impose them on anyone else. There will always be a myriad of different ways to do things, and the efficacy of approaches will depend on personal factors unique to every person. I don’t believe in quick fixes, especially ones that claim to apply to everyone. It feels patronising to even feel the need to include this disclaimer, but it’s not personal - historically I have fallen into the trap so easily of thinking that if I do x, y, and z like the nice lady on the internet tells me then my problems will be fixed and life will turn into rainbows and unicorns, so I feel it’s important to include my disclaimer. If there’s anything you glean from my writing I hope that it is that you are the captain of your own ship and whilst seeking seeds of inspiration from others is wonderful they only bloom when sown, watered, and tended to under the right conditions for you.

That said, I think it’s vital we share our personal resources because there is so little knowledge, information, and medical support out there for people who struggle with burnout, and energy levels more generally. I remember when I first found out that I am autistic, was in autistic burnout, and was severely mentally unwell - the doctor sent me on my way with some anti-anxiety medication, anti-depressants, and free walking therapy I’d be able to access once I made it to the top of the waitlist. A boat load of drugs, but no other post-diagnosis support - despite me being in crisis. I am one of the lucky ones who had the privilege of access to private counselling which helped me develop the tools and strategies I am about to share with you.

As I am writing this I am realising how big my toolkit is, so I hope this doesn’t overwhelm you - I know it looks daunting, but this has not been an overnight ‘success’. It has taken me 18 months to experiment with and build out my toolkit which is slowly helping me to claw my way out of burnout. Not only have I put a lot of work into helping myself, but I was able to take sick leave from work during the worst of my burnout, I have had the support of a few special people in my life, and I have attended weekly counselling and therapy sessions. Please don’t compare yourself. We are all on different journeys.

This is also not to say I have my sh*t together. This toolkit is wonderful when things are going well. But it is certainly tested when life is rocky (which is still, to varying degrees, a lot of the time). Whether it be waking up one day to find the breakfast I have been eating for six months is no longer palatable, or a flare up in CPTSD symptoms, being continually knocked off course and clawing my way back to some semblance of a centre is more often than not my daily reality. What I can say is that this list certainly helps navigate the twists and turns of life. 

With that said, here is my list:

• Low demand lifestyle: It’s not possible to completely eliminate stress but I do as much as possible by eliminating or reducing demands on me. I slowly audited my life and worked out what stress was too much, what stress I could remove, and what stress I could minimise. In practice this looked like, for example, simplifying my routines, limiting social interactions (especially in groups) to once a week, accommodating my needs, and also creating space for rest. 

• Accommodate your needs: As someone who has spent a lifetime suppressing their needs, it’s no wonder it takes time to re-discover them. Over time I am figuring it out, and as I do I am doing my best to accommodate myself. For example, I need quiet time spent in a sensory-safe environment by myself to engage with my interests after social events. So when I arrange a social event, I mark a buffer period in my diary for a few hours afterwards. 

• Daily habit tracker: Part of the challenge of identifying my needs is literally the act of being able to identify them. Due to interoception issues I often don’t know when I need to drink water or use the bathroom or eat, especially if I am focused on something I love doing or am in a state of high stress. My daily habit tracker reminds me to check in with these physical needs, and in turn helps me understand why I might be feeling a certain way. For example, it helps me spot that I might be feeling tired (not something I can swiftly identify) because I have not slept well for multiple nights in a row. With this information, I can work out how to accommodate myself accordingly. 

• To do list measured in energy: Most nights I make a list of what I am going to do the next day. I never used to write to-do lists because they overwhelmed me, but since I have started sorting them by the energy required to complete each task it has felt more manageable. I give each item on my to do list a colour - either green, yellow, or red depending on how much energy the task is likely to take - and then assess my energy in the morning to work out what order I will tackle the tasks in. If any of them can be moved to the next day or following week, I will do so. I have been operating at maximum capacity (500 times maximum capacity, even) for so long that this exercise is a practice in doing only as much as I feel capable of each day. It teaches me that to-dos can often wait longer than I think. 

• Planning my day and time blocking: I also never used to plan my days so it still amazes me that I now plan nearly every minute of my day. I never used to do this because it would create too many demands on me. But I have found a happy medium - I time block my days into broad categories but leave open what exactly I will do within those time blocks. For example, a time block called ‘writing’ might include journaling, writing a newsletter, or working on a bigger writing project. A time block called ‘rest’ might include a nap under my weighted blanket, watching a show, or reading a book. The time blocks can also be edited throughout the day if my plans change. The key is the time blocking mechanism encourages me to intentionally check in with my energy levels, how I’m feeling, and how I want to spend my time. The structure helps my autistic need for sameness and prevents me from running away with the ADHD side of my brain, but the flexibility within that structure helps me avoid getting stuck because of too many specific demands. 

• Asking for help: I never used to ask for help. Ever. I genuinely can’t think of one example. But recently I have been practicing asking my husband directly for help. For example, if I make my to do list and realise I don’t have the energy for an urgent task that needs my attention that day I will ask my husband to help me. The might look like me delegating the task completely to him, if possible, or doing the task together, or body doubling whilst I do it. Sometimes the help I need is practical, other times it is cognitive - for example, asking him to help me with making a decisions or solving a problem, or asking him to listen whilst I verbally process some of my thoughts and emotions. 

• Responding to over-stimulation and under-stimulation: Part of the journey to understanding my needs has been learning how to spot when I am overstimulated and when I am under-stimulated. Both tend to lead to me mis-managing my energy, so responding as soon as I can is critical for me. 

• Shutdown and meltdown protocol: I also look out for warning signs of shutdowns and meltdowns so that I can put into action (with the help of people who support me) my shutdown and meltdown protocols. These are essentially systems that I have agreed with my support network (currently my husband) to put into motion as soon as I or they spot I am entering a shutdown or a meltdown. If I am responding to overstimulation and under-stimulation appropriately the idea is that I don’t get to the point of shutdown or meltdown very frequently - but of course they happen, so having a protocol is really important to minimise their impact and recover as safely as possible. My shutdown and meltdown protocol include, for example, sitting with my burnout box (see below bullet point), in a quiet and dark room, under a weighted blanket, with a comfort item and various tools for stimming. I will sometimes listen to music, or watch TV, if I need distraction or otherwise eventually drift off to sleep whilst my brain re-boots. 

• Burnout box: I’m in the middle of creating a resource that will help you create your own burnout box, but for now let’s just say that this is a box of the basic things you need when you’re so burned out (or at risk of burnout) that you can’t move from your safe spot. Think safe foods, safe drinks, stim toys, deodorant - that sort of thing.

• Daily walks: Since I got a dog three years ago I am a convert to the importance of a daily walk. There was a period of time when I was so burned out I couldn’t go on my daily walks, and I missed them so much. When I can, I go - moving my body, especially in nature, invigorates my energy levels in a way that being inside cannot. 

• Vitamins: I take a multi-vitamin every day and whilst I can’t scientifically prove that they have done anything for me since I started taking them six months ago, I can speculate that they have contributed. They are part of my routine now. I put them next to my toothbrush and think ‘teeth and tablets’ when I see them together in the morning (a habit stacking tactic my mum suggested). I specifically choose multi-vitamins that are said to help with brain fog and energy. I have tried the brands Heights and Get Dopa.

• Sleep routine: I keep a regular sleep schedule by getting 8 plus hours of sleep a night and waking up at the same time (I read somewhere once that this is really good for you if you struggle with sleep). Because I wake up early I have to go to bed early, but getting to bed early can be hard (especially when my mind starts whirring as it gets dark!). I’ve still not cracked my sleep routine, but I’m working on it. It’s quite simple - no screens an hour before bed, bath, and ear plugs on in bed by 9:30pm to read and go to sleep at 10pm. Afternoon naps are allowed and encouraged. There are some weeks of the month where regardless of how effortful I am with my sleep schedule sleep seems impossible. My main job then is to not beat myself up about it. Readers shared their tips for sleep problems in this post. 

• Low dopamine morning routine: Look, I’m not sure about the science, but for me choosing activities first thing in the morning that don’t overstimulate me helps a ton. For example, I don’t look at my phone until 10am at the earliest. Instead I get outside on a walk with my dog first thing, do some pilates or yoga or swimming, and enjoy the silence of the morning. It felt alien at first but now it’s my favourite time of the day. 

• Minimising interaction with screens: More generally I am convinced that screens sap my energy dry. If I’m looking at screens too much during the day, come the evening I can tell. Whether it’s my phone, a laptop, or a TV screen, I try to be intentional with my usage. Some days, especially days where I am struggling, it is inevitable that I use them a lot more. Other days I make a conscious effort to use them as little as possible. It’s not a moral contest - the main thing for me is that I like the way I feel when I am intentional with my screen usage. 

• Grounding exercises: When my sympathetic nervous system is activated and I am in fight, flight, fawn, or freeze mode my body uses up a lot of energy protecting me from the perceived threat. As a neurodivergent person with CPTSD and an anxiety disorder, my main job throughout the day is to look after my very sensitive nervous system as much as possible. This often looks like doing grounding exercises when I start to feel my stress response being triggered. I’m still learning how to spot this, but in my experience so far I find grounding exercises to be helpful. My favourite is the butterfly technique. 

• 7 types of rest: I was shocked to learn a few months back that there are 7 types of rest. Who knew! It was honestly a relief to me because I don’t always feel like sitting down and doing nothing, as my limited understanding of rest had me believe was necessary. Here’s a post I made about the 7 types of rest and how I integrate them into my life to help manage my energy levels. 

Wow, that’s it (I think)! 

If you have any questions, let me know in the comments and I may answer them in another post. I’d also love to hear what else you do to manage your energy levels.

Sending you love!

Charlie

xoxo

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